Giving things up isn’t the point.
The common thread of my work this year has been developing habit. Imperfect habits. Sometimes End-of-the-day-half-asleep habits. Sometimes half-assed habits. Sometimes skip-a-day-and-make-it-up-later habits. But by and large, I have spent an hour in some type of practice every day.
My mum recommended The Desire Map to me in June. I was put off by the slick branding at first. I don’t need another pinterest-paraphrasing life coach. A self help book with candles and metallic temporary tattoos for sale to tell me what it is to be fulfilled.
But let me take my foot out of my mouth, because The Desire Map is killer. Instead of making big goals for your life and expecting they will result in happiness, it flips the process on its head.
How do you want to feel? What makes you feel that way? Go from there.
You decide on 4 desired feelings. I want to feel Resonance, Sparkly, Equanimous and Magic. Those feelings relate to relationship, spirit, humour and art for me. That’s what I want to feel. Now when I look at my habits I have something to measure against. Does _____ make me feel _____? The alternative benefits all the movement and study of 2016 is some clarity about what’s working and what’s not working. What’s making me feel the way I want to feel.
Sobriety is working for me.
Sleep is working for me.
Asana is working for me.
Keeping a budget is working for me.
Teaching is working for me.
Sugar is not working.
3 espressos a day is not working.
My relationship with social media is not working.
And this doesn’t mean I ban anything from my life. It doesn’t mean detox. (I dislike the idea of detox or regimes that focus on purity) It means I come back to my habits.
My habits around social media do not make me feel good. Certainly not resonance with others. It extinguishes magic. Leaves no time for equanimity.
Sparkly isn’t sparkly through a filter.
I’m checking facebook before kissing Jon every morning. I spend the moments of quiet between my classes on my cell phone. It simply takes up too much of my time.
In September I have the intention to be offline. I’m not deleting anything. I am taking the month away from social media to watch my habits change, to see how I fill my time, to see how my relationships flourish and to re-evaluate that piece of my life. Jon and I will travel to Cambodia on Sept. 2nd.
I can be reached at email@example.com, or via whatsapp/cell: 122 731 6004